Laura

No means no

How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?

From the muddy banks of Wishkah, literally – Aberdeen, WA

Life can sometimes feel like an endless hamster wheel, spinning indefinitely with no clear way forward.

Your life is your own path – and you choose to lead it however you wish, no one else.

That being said, I used to really struggle with the word “no.”

Oftentimes, I still need to remind myself to say it, especially if it affects me in a way that’s not conducive to my highest good.

As I’ve gotten older, it’s getting easier to choose self.

I used to never say no.

Secretly, I would want to. But I would feel bad about it.

“Want to go out, even though you have to work early the next day?” Sure!

“Can you work overtime again?” Absolutely.

“Put everyone else’s needs above yours?” Hey, why not?!

Stop.

Don’t. Do. This.

Choose yourself first.

Always.

When I was younger, I was so worried about disappointing people. I would feel pressure to “do the right thing” and guilt if I didn’t.

I guess I could say probably around the time I entered into my 30s I was sick of the bullshit.

In my line of work, it’s really important to be able to say no as well. Otherwise you’ll go home with a ton of other people’s problems on your shoulders.

Which is so draining.

I don’t need validation.

What I need and always will need is self-love.

Remember, self-love isn’t selfish.

Once I realized this. I started putting up more boundaries to not have my kindness taken advantage of.

And people don’t always like that. Sometimes they want you to be at their disposal and at their whims.

Never tolerate that.

Don’t ever feel you have to explain yourself, because you don’t.

‘Cause you do got your habitual line steppers, as Charlie Murphy would say.

I’m not going to go around in circles or argue with anybody.

The only person I ever need to impress or make happy is myself.

Because who else is gonna do it?

So now – if it means saying no to help myself emotionally, mentally, physically, financially, spiritually – I’m all for it.

And you should be, as well.

For your own best interests.

Pleasant start to the week for you all, I hope.

38 comments

  3. Right on. Having a tossing and turning night, so the week is starting meh, but I liked the cadence of your post a lot, like a song that could get stuck in my ear and drawn upon when necessary. 🙂

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  4. It’s like the idea that everybody has their own garden. If you look after everyone else’s garden, eventually yours dies which then leaves you unable to look after other people and you essentially have a breakdown. I used to have a similar problem but now I know boundaries are good and healthy. I feel a lot better and not drained putting myself first.

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    • You always use such great ways to describe life! A very good way to look at it – as a garden that needs to be tended regularly. Thank you so much for your thoughts and continue to put yourself first! 😊

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      • It’s something I remember after watching this YouTube video about recognising toxic relationships and what to do. Her analogy is “ecosystem” but anyway, same idea. Otherwise, the other analogy that has also stuck me is “don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm”.

        Hope you find the video as useful and insightful as I did (and it’s a little humorous too)!

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      • Thank you so much! It was a really cute video 😊 and really good analogies used to describe the feeling. Always happy to have your most thoughtful comments!

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  5. I respect your sentiments and its funny in a dream yes is the way however in reality No is the normal. If you are at ease and in peace then its the only answer. Prayers and thoughts are with you 🙏

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